Cut my life into Pieces
by Alice Le Rose
Summary: I carved your name into this bullet so everyone would see you were the last thing going into my mind. Hello everyone, it's been awhile. I'm back. I re-wrote chapter 8, I hope you take a look. CHAPTER 9 HAS BEEN POSTED!
1. Party Revealings

Cut my Life into Pieces

Chapter 1 Party Revealings

Author's note: I do not own Fruitsbasket of its characters. This story contains violence and profanity.

Everything surrounding him was blurry. He was beginning to see double-vision. Stumbling through the party, he tripped going up the stairs. Getting up, he slowly made his way clumsily towards the bathroom.

His silky silver hair was hanging in his face aand his lavender eyes were glazed over and he colapsed by the toilet after closing the door.

Being a raver was no way to live. He wasn't sure why he had screwed his life up like this. Maybe it was because...

There was a knock at the door. He didn't even have the energy to tell the person to go away. The door opened and he looked up to see a black and white haired teenager.

"Ha...ru?" He whispered. His head slumped to the side as he wasn't able to hold it up any longer.

"Jesus Christ Yuki, what the hell happened to you?" Haru kneeled down next to his drugged up cousin. "I saw you come in here and you didn't look so good."

"Haru...what're you doing here?" Yuki spoke slowly.

"Uh...anyways, we need to get you home...who is there right now?" Haru looked concerned at his cousin who looked ready to throw up.

"Shigure went out with Ayame and Hatori and Honda-san is spending the night with friends." Yuki colapsed on Haru, his head laying in Haru's lap.

"Umm, what about Kyo?" Haru expected the rat to start yelling at the mention of the cat.

"Kyo..." Yuki whispered. Tears welled up in his eyes. "Kyo...hates me..."

"Kyo doesn't hate you...he just doesn't like you at all." Hare didn't think he was helping much. "Besides, since when do you care what Kyo thinks?"

"Heh..." Yuki gave a weak smile. "I've always cared what Kyo thinks."

Haru stared for a moment at his cousin before it dawned on him.

"Yuki...how do you feel about Kyo?" Haru brushed Yuki's bangs out of his eyes.

"Haru...I think..I...love him." He smiled weakly again before falling into complete darkness.

"Yuki..." Haru whispered, looking down at his unconcious cousin. "Out of all the people in the would you could've fallen for...why Kyo?"

He pulled the rat up and left the party, carrying him.

At Shigure's house, all was silent. The house was dark and seemed as though no one was home. Haru layed Yuki down on the couch. Kyo should've been here, he thought to himself.

"Hey...where the hell have you been Yuki!" Haru turned around to see an orange haired teen.

"Kyo...be quiet." He whispered.

"Haru...what the hell are you doing here?" Kyo looked slightly startled.

"Yuki...what's wrong with him?" Kyo stared at the rat. "Not that I actually care."

"He was at a party. Probably shared some drugs with someone." Haru shrugged. "He'll be ok later when it's out of his system."

"Kyo, can you do me a favor and watch over Yuki?" Haru brushed Yuki's hair out of his face.

"What! You want me to take care of that damn rat!" Kyo hissed.

"Kyo...stop getting all pissed for 5 seconds and just try to think of Yuki not as the rat but as Yuki." Haru sighed. He wondered what Kyo would say if he knew that Yuki didn't hate him. In fact, Yuki loved Kyo which made it all the more interesting. Kyo looked as though he couldn't say a word.

"Yuki hates me and I hate him, so that's how it is!" Kyo screamed.

"Not entirely true." Haru said plainly. "Yuki doesn't really hate you and I'd bet he'd give his life to save you..."

"Why would he do that! The damn rat!" Kyo turned and left. Haru watched him the orange haired cat leave.

"Heh. I have a feeling things are going to get a lot worse..." He got up to leave and looked at Yuki. "Before they get better."

With that last thought, he left the house.

Author's note: Read and Review please. I love Haru. He's awesome. In this story he seems to be the wise one, I didn't do that on purpose.


	2. Bloody Hands

Cut My Life into Pieces

Chapter 2

Bloody Hands

With a splitting headache, Yuki rolled off the couch. Looking outside, he could tell it was late, maybe around 4 am. The smell of alchole and drugs was thick on his clothes and it was making him sick. He guessed Shigure wasn't home yet. That would mean he was alone with Kyo...Kyo-kun.

He made his way to the bathroom, knowing all to well that the contents in his stomach were about to be emptied.

Kyo awoke to the sound of someone vomiting. Slowly, he made his way towards the bathroom. Yuki, he thought immediately. He started to move his hand up, about to knock on the door.

"Kyo..." He heard Yuki say from in the bathroom. "I wish I could tell you I lo..."

Kyo slammed the door open. The rat sat next to the toilet, tears running down his face.

"Yuki...are you fucking dying in here or what?" Kyo snapped.

"Kyo..." Yuki whispered looking away. He looked sick again.

"Come on...let me get you back to bed." Kyo helped Yuki to his feet and, sighing to himself, helped the rat back to his room.

After leaving the rat, Kyo went back to his own room. He didn't know why but he felt sorry for the rat. Sighing, he pulled his clothes off and went back to bed.

Yuki lay, looking up at the ceiling. Thoughts of Kyo flooded his mind. He couldn't stand it, knowing Kyo hated him. Tears poured from his eyes as he punched at his pillow out of anger.

"Kyo! What the hell is wrong with you!" Yuki screamed. "Always calling me a damn rat!"

"Can't you see I...I...I just want to die." Yuki pulled his knees to his chest and started to cry. "Why can't you or anyone see...I'm dying inside."

"Kyo...I hate your false kindness you sometimes give. It kills me even more." Yuki curled into a fetal postion. He couldn't understand...why him?

He climbed off his bed, crossed the room, opened his closet door and started to search for something. Hidden in his closet, was a small box, he took the box out and opened it.

Yuki pulled out a razor. He had been needing this more and more lately. It had become his temporary relief from pain. A relief that would prove to be a deadly poison in his life.

Curling in the corner, he lowered the blade between his legs. Biting his lip, he let the blade rip into his flesh. Tears fell down his face as he let his mind concentrate on the pain on his thigh instead of the pain he was feeling inside. This allowed him to forget the constant hell he was living.The pain in his thigh helped him to forget the aching pain in his heart. He bit his lip at the searing pain. This temporary relief had left ugly scars on his body that he had been hiding from everyone. The blood ran off his leg and dripped on to the carpet. He groaned from pain as he pushed it deeper. He wanted to scream out in hopes that the one he loved might come to save him from this pain inside, save him from his own hell. This hell that was created around him. A hell based on fear, lies, pain and deceit. It would never happen, the blood would continue to pour.

He moved his hand to cover the open flesh wound. He could feel blood leaking between his fingers and he looked down to see his bloody hands pressed against his blood soaked thigh. It was an ugly sight he knew so well, yet it seemed to give him some peace of mind. Tears rolled down his cheeks and landed on his blood covered flesh.

Author's note: Read and Review. I love how Yuki looks so depressing. He mimics the moon perfectly in its depressing nature.


	3. Ripping it up

**Cut My Life into Pieces**

**Chapter 3**

**Ripping it up**

Author's note: Ok, I changed the summary as you may have noticed. I like it, if you don't then poo on you. Sorry it took me forever to update. I...haven't been doing well myself. Things are starting to get better. I'm twitching a lot and finding it hard to sit still.

"Every drawing that I drew was never ever as cute as you." Kagura clung to Kyo's arm. A wide grin on her face. "My! Very! Own! BOYFRIEND!" She ran around screaming. "Ahhhhhh!"

Kyo stared. He was scared, having just delt with Yuki last night. He had to ask Kagura out. Emo Yuki really pissed him off. He smiled a little.

"Come on!" She grabbed his arm and drug him across the park to where Tohru, Haru and Momiji sat.

Haru was quiet and Momiji had ice cream all over his face. Tohru smiled and giggled. He looked so cute and silly.

"Am, Momiji-kun, you look so cute." She handed him a napkin, a wide grin on her face as she giggled at him.

"Thank you Tohru-kun!" Momiji laughed. "Hey! Look! It's Kyo-kun and Kagura-chan!" He bounced up and down on the park bench.

"Stupid rabbit! Stop pointing!" Kyo smacked Momiji across the head.

"Ouch! Haru-kun! Kyo-kun hit mee!" Momiji clung to Haru. Tears seeping into Haru's black shirt.

"Calm down Kyo-san." Haru wrapped his arms around the small rabbit and continued to stare at the cat blankly.

"Aw! Damnit! Why're you protecting that damn rabbit anyways!" Kyo screamed. Kagura smacked Kyo.

"Kyo-kun, you're scaring Momiji-kun." She clung to his arm.

"Grr!" Kyo growled. He was about to say something nasty when he felt a sharp pain in the side of his head and was knocked to the ground.

"Haru-kun!" Momiji cried harder. He curled into a ball and sobbed.

"You should learn to keep your mouth shut pussy cat!" Haru growled, a wicked grin spread across his face.

"I hate you." Kyo murmured before he felt Haru's weight on his own and they were fighting again.

"Oh dear!" Tohru was holding Momiji who was still crying.

"Hey look! Isn't that Yuki-kun!" Kagura pointed out across the park yard. "Wonder what he's up to."

"Hmm, I don't know. Lets find out!" Momiji jumped up. Tohru and Kagura followed him as he followed Yuki in secret, leaving Haru and Kyo to fight.

They hid in a bush, watching Yuki sneak into the men's bathroom, checking around as he did so.

"Hmm..." Momiji got up to go in but Kagura and Tohru held him back.

Within a few minutes, a very pretty dark haired girl walked out of the men's restroom. She wore a short mini skirt revealing long slender legs and a tight top with stripper heels. She looked like a prostitute and oddly like Yuki.

"No...it can't be." Momiji's eyes widdened. "Yuki?"

A man walked up to the girl and offered his arm. He looked like a pedofile. The type of man who like little girls. With an evil smirk, he led Yuki away.

"That is one hot babe." Kyo said lazily from behind them. Tohru and Kagura jerked him and Haru down.

"Shhh! I think that's Yuki..." Momiji whispered, not even daring to take his eyes of her.

"Whatever, I'm gonna go!" Kyo turned to leave. Kagura and Tohru leaving as well, leaving Momiji and Haru alone in the bushes.

"Momiji-kun...it's none of our buisness..." Haru started to say but Momiji was already pulling him out of the bushes and they were following the cross-dressing Yuki.

"This is so weird." Haru said, Momiji pulling his hand. They knelt down behind a trash can and watched Yuki get into the man's car.

It was already getting late. They could see the two moving around in the backseat of the car.

"Haru-kun, what do you think they're doing?" Momiji stared with wide eyes.

"My guess is, what I'd love to be doing with you." Haru shrugged.

"Ew! Pervert!" Momiji giggled. "Still...what do we do?"

"Nothing, it's Yuki's life." Haru had a solemn tone. "He's the one ripping his own life to pieces. He's the one who will have to put the pieces back together."

Author's note: Sorry for the horrible chapter. It's just a filler. . love. I would love you guys to keep reading and reviewing. I have it all played out in my head now how this story will go, it will get better. I know how I'll do every thing except the end. I'm not sure about that. There's a reason Yuki is cross-dressing. Momiji and Haru are a couple. Yay! Oh, I plan to write a romance between Ritsu and Ayame. Yay! Love!


	4. Morire' Desangrado

**Cut my life into Pieces Chapter 4**

**Morire' Desangrado**

Author's Note: Ok...um...this...um...this isn't working. Read and Review please.

The moon seemed so solemn, starring down on the Sohma house. Lights were oof and everyone appeared to be asleep as Yuki snuck into the dark living room, careful not to bump into anything or knock anything over.

His body was aching and more than anything he wanted to disappear into that vulgar room of self-torture that was his room. The stairs creaked under his weight as he tiptoed up stairs.

The hall was dark and he had to grip the walls to get to his bedroom. Grabbing the doorknob, he opened the door, flipped on the switch and closed the door behind him. Realizing he had been holding his breath, he sighed breathing in.

His head was throbbing and his chest was aching. Feeling much older than he really was, he collapsed on the soft feathery bed.

Thanking God that he had gotten paid for giving pleasure and feeling disgusted at the same time, Yuki pulled out the substance that would make him feel better, make him well for a few hours.

"I am in the depths of despair, don't leave me in my suffering. Let me run my hand through your hair...my only love, my heroin." A wicked smile pased over his thin, pale lips. Pain sometimes had temporary reliefs. Yuki wanted to find a permanate relief. A relief that could never be taken back.

Standing outside the door, slouching against the wall, Kyo held his head in his hands. Yuki? A prostitute? No! Can't be! Kyo's head was swarming. Why would Yuki do it? He slid down the wall outside Yuki's room. He felt his chest aching badly, yet he didn't know why.

Climbing to his feet, Kyo opened Yuki's door silently a little and peer in. Yuki sat, leaning against his bed wearing only boxers and revealing a revolting sight. The scars on the inside of Yuki's legs made Kyo's stomach clench. Not only were Yuki's sins showing, he sat there giving up his mind's control to drugs.

"Yuki...what the hell is happening?" Kyo whispered. He felt sick to his stomach.

"Huh? Who's there?" Yuki stumbled to his feet and walked towards the door.

Kyo didn't know what to do...his mind was racing. Yuki was only a few steps away.

Then...the door opened and Yuki stared at him, a look of confusion and fear on his face like he had something to hide and didn't know why Kyo was there.

"K...Kyo?" Yuki choked out in his dumbstruck state. Kyo's mouth hung open. He had to act fast, to get away, to get as far away from Yuki as fast as he could.

"You skanky whore! I know all about you! You're disgusting!" Kyo snarled, then turned tail and ran to his room at a sprint. He felt horrible for saying it to Yuki but he couldn't start feeling sorry for Yuki...he couldn't start caring for him now.

Yuki closed the door behind him and fell to the ground weakly. He knew Kyo had hated him...he just never knew Kyo hated him that much, and what did Kyo know...his mind was puzzled.

Yuki pulled his knees to his chest, curling into a ball. Head spinning, gut lurching, stomach twisting in knots, his room was fading into black despair. Inner demons that had been haunting and tormenting his dreams, his unconcious mind, danced around in a way that seemed quite queer indeed. Tears staining his face and a puddle of vomit, Yuki fell unconcious once again...secretly not wanting to awaken.

Author's note: last paragraph, I love. I can't believe I just love one paragraph. lol. How am I doing? Call at 1-800-PleaseRandR! Yay! Believe it or now, I am an Honors student. I am a junior in my 3rd year of spanish. The title of this chapter means "I will bleed to death." in spanish. "Me gusta la tarta." is I like pie in spanish and "me gusta el pie" is I like foot in spanish. The spanish word for foot is pie. lol There's something you probably didn't know and didn't care about knowing. shrugs Now you know. I'm a book of useless knowledge.

P.S Did you know that cat urine glows in the dark?


	5. Making my decision

**Cut my life into pieces**

**chapter 5**

**Making my Decision**

Author's note: Are you ready?! Are you really ready for chapter 5?! Of course you are! Yay! Woot! Akito is a man in my story.

I took you home...set you on the glass...I pulled off your wings...then I laughed.

A butterfly under my control, what will you do without your wings? I'll laugh out loud as I watch and smile as I listen to your screams.

I want to break you down slowly and hear you scream for me. We'll bleed the dream and then lick it clean; bloody kisses from passionate dreams. While you waited there in your dreams, you were wasting away.

Releasing all your secret and sinful thoughts in a scream that no one can ever hear. Then I as you this, why scream? It's pointless to scream if no one can hear. You're a waste of space, of time, of blood, of everything.

Your mind is a book of teenage heartbreaks, of pain, of hate. My own is a twisted mind geared up for slaughter. You think you know but you'd be surprised...how little you actually know. There's nothing left but lonely pain.

So, I ask again, why scream...why scream Yuki?

Last night, he had made a huge mistake. He should have helped him...but he couldn't. Now Yuki was where he never wanted to be, with Akito, who was beyond pissed off. Akito knew everything now about Yuki's drug addiction, his cutting and his prostitution. Kyo was to blame. Now Kyo couldn't help.

After Yuki overdosed last night, he had to do something and he went straight to Hatori and spilled everything.

The moment he had found out that Yuki wasn't coming home from the main house, he felt his stomach sink. Akito was livid. Akito wanted Yuki to pay. Akito wanted to make Yuki pay...in the worst possible way.

"Yuki...there's a lot of pretty, pretty ones who want to get you high. But all the pretty, pretty ones with leave you low and blow your mind." A devious smile passed over Akito's lips. Anger was trivial compared to what Akito was at this moment.

Akito kicked Yuki in the stomach, making him sick again. Blood was already pouring out of him in clots. There was dried blood on his pale naked body.

"Let me ask you this...did you honestly believe that Kyo could ever give a damn about you? He doesn't and he never did. As you're here, naked as the day you were born and how very vulnerable you are. It makes me laugh...oh does it make me laugh Yuki." Akito laughed harshly, a sinfully wicked smile on his lips.

"Please..." Yuki started to beg but Akito kicked him in the face, another mouthful of blood spilling on the floor. The taste was enough to make him almost vomit. He was choking on blood.

"Nothing of love remains beyond the grave, Yuki." Akito sneared.

"Ah!" Kyo awoke with a start. His jaw was aching and there was blood pouring out. He was feeling sick and a wave of despair was washing over him.

"Yuki..." He whispered, blood dripping into his hand. Some how, he knew that Yuki was in real pain and that dream was more than a dream. Yuki needed him. 'Should I go...to him...' Kyo thought, ' what...would I say...what would I do?'

"Alright!" Kyo said to himself with more confidence than he was actually feeling. "I'm going to go to Yuki!"

He dressed quickly, determined to save Yuki from this hell he was living in. He would go against Akito on Yuki's behalf.

Author's note: Nearing the end, does it make you sad? Sorry it's a short chapter. Then next should be long but don't hold that against me...I said SHOULD.


	6. My Protector

Cut My Life Into Pieces

Chapter 6

My Protector

Author's Note: Uh...um...I got nothing interesting to say. How about I share with you a poem? Maybe in a later chapter, I'm really shy about my writing. Sorry this has taken so long. I really am. Some things have been coming up and I've had really bad writer's block.

The heart is said to be the source of love and all emotion...for anyone with half a brain would know this to be false and get annoyed with constant sayings such as "follow your heart." Kyo's mind was the one telling him to run, run to Yuki. His heart was racing and beating a million times a minute. He just wanted to get there, to get Yuki out of there.

He pushed the window of the main house up and slipped inside, tiptoeing across the carpet. It was too quiet, you could have heard a pen drop from the other side of the house. A creepy morbid silence it was to, kind of haunting. He wasn't sure how he was going to find Yuki and was wondering when he heard a small wimpering in the room to his left.

Slowly, he slid the door open and peered inside. There was someone curled in a ball in the corner trying to avoid the light that pierced through the open door. The fearfilled wimpers came louder. Kyo took a step forward and knew exactly what it was. It was Yuki.

"Yuki..." Kyo whispered. "It's ok...I'll protect you...come into my arms." His arms outstretched ready to welcome the mass of pure torment. "Yuki, I am so sorry."

Kyo kneeled down and wrapped his arms around the ruined and broken prince. Yuki cried, digging his nails into Kyo's skin, clinging to him.

He was shaking violently, body urging for his beloved heroin. He wanted it, needed it, he would obey it. Right now, it called for him, commanding him to leave with Kyo, to let Kyo have him, to let Kyo touch him.

"Kyo..." Yuki whispered hoarsly. "Save me from my only love, my heroin." He fell unconcious in Kyo's arms. Kyo scooped him and left the main house with him, undetected. Yuki's words were still bothering him, eating at him...

He had called Haru and Haru had arranged to rent an apartment so they could harbor Yuki in secret. That's where he would take him and Yuki would be alright, Kyo told himself over and over again. He didn't know that Yuki would obey the heroin and eliminate his other love from his life.

Author's note: Sorry it's kind of short and bad. Feel free to scream and yell and hate me. I'm sorry. ;.; Me crying. Please keep reading the story and leaving your reviews please. I like to know how I'm doing even if it's bad.


	7. My Heroin

Cut my life into pieces

Chapter 7

My Heroin

Author's note: Warning! This chapter contains a lemon. If male/male bothers you….don't read it, if disturbing things bother you….why are you read this? Read and Review.

Anger hidden behind pained lavender eyes roared to life the moment Yuki saw Kyo lying on the couch asleep. A whisper in the back recesses of his mind spoke seductive words, hypnotizing him, saying "Take him, break him, bend him, kill me! Destroy him!" A voice he must obey, be a submissive slave to. Oh heroin, his mistress of demise.

He walked slowly, in a drunken form of former elegance no longer one of his attributes. Sweat dripping down, soaking his skin; his flesh was burning but he was cold. His eyes were glazed over by malice, fury, hatred….for Kyo-kun.

Slender body of bitter beauty leaned down to brush the bangs out of Kyo's forehead and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Kyo….Kyo-kun…I want you." Lust lacing his voice as he pulled Kyo's shirt off, hands massaging the skin on his chest. Kyo was dumbstruck for a few moments but his hands soon began to wrap themselves around Yuki's bare waist. As they kissed, Yuki's mouth opened allowing Kyo's tongue to slide in and battle for dominance; Yuki purposely lost, letting Kyo explore every inch of his mouth and twist his tongue up with his own. Kyo was panting, his hands touching Yuki's freezing hot skin. Kyo rolled over and they landed on the floor, his body pushing, grinding, and thrusting against Yuki's pale, virgin imposter body.

Kyo kissed along Yuki's jaw and neck, sucking on the skin of his collar bone. Yuki tilted his head back moaning, his beloved screaming in his head. "He wants to take you, rape you, break you…….so let him try!"

Kyo's sharp teeth sank into Yuki's skin, biting and nursing on his nipples, swirling circles around his navel with his tongue, licking inside. Gasps and moans escaped Yuki's mouth, his mind shouting "I want to break you slowly and hear you scream for me, Kyo!"

"Kyo…" He whispered as Kyo kissed and nipped at his hips. "Rocks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me. So bite me hard and tie me down and show me that you want me."

Kyo ripped his jeans off, lust claiming all self-control, his erection throbbing in front of Yuki with desire.

"Rip me apart." Yuki's voice was different, hypnotizing Kyo, who laid Yuki down and grabbed a bottle of lotion.

"Are…..are…are you sure?" Kyo stammered.

Yuki nodded and whispered seductively. "I'm a slut Kyo, a seductive, naughty slut who is about as tight as a crack whore, who's been passed around one too many times." With that, he took the lotion from Kyo and squirted some in his hands, rubbing it on Kyo's cock, his own twitching from want.

Screams of demons possessed rang out, giving up all secrecy as to what the boys were doing. Kyo tossed his head back, moaning and begging for release, as he thrust faster into Yuki's tortured body.

Yuki thrust back onto Kyo's cock, driving it further in. Their end was coming on fast as sweat dripped down their bodies. With a high pitched scream, Yuki's body shook, his cum painting their bodies. Kyo thrust again and felt his own body spasm and his load release into Yuki. Collapsing on the boy, blackness took over Kyo and he lost consciousness.

"I'm gonna draw a picture

A picture with a twist

I'll draw it with a razor blade

I'll draw it on my wrist

And as I draw this picture

A fountain will appear

And as this fountain flows

My troubles disappear."


	8. Naked in murder

**Cut My Life into Pieces**

**Chapter 8**

**Author's note:** I'm sorry for the time this has taken. It's been a long time since I updated this story. I have the ending all planned out and the story will officially be over on Valentine's Day. That is when the very last chapter will be up. To any loyal fans of this story, I would like to know if you want an epilogue, but I want an official answer once the last chapter is up. So, I hope you like this. It's been hard for me to write, I've been busy and I'm in college. I'm also planning on starting a new story. That's all I'm saying, so here is the new chapter. Hope you like, as always Read and Review please. I need feed back to continue writing.

Star-lit eyes gazed at the moon, slender limbs shook from withdrawal. Kyo, kyo-kun, was still asleep from their "workout" of intense passion. That was just a tease though, a mere treat to engage his trust, let his guard down. It was a sacrifice that had to be made for his beloved, his heroin.

Turning, in the manner of a clumsy drunk but with the grace of a stripper, Yuki walked back into the apartment and into the kitchen, hiding his naked form from the moon's judging stare. The screaming silence was deafening and shadows danced on the walls urging him on as he reached out his thin fingers and picked up a grand looking butcher knife that glinted in the faint light, sharp as a General's sword right before the call of a battle. Bringing it in front of him, he licked the blade with a lusty sigh, cutting his tongue open. Blood spread around his mouth, giving him an iron taste and he bit his lip to keep from moaning; he loved that taste. Blood is life; it was one of the most arousing things in the world to him.

Spinning on his heel and arms whipping around him as though he were a willow tree in a storm, Yuki swayed to his own morbid music into the living room where Kyo lay sprawled out naked. Yuki walked slowly towards Kyo, grinding his teeth and then stopped. Standing over Kyo and holding the knife up high, he starred at Kyo for what seemed like forever. As he stood there, watching Kyo breathe at a calm pace, he felt his chest begin to ache like he was dying. It was pain that he couldn't compare to anything but pure anguish.

He hadn't felt anything like this in so long. Was this vicious, tearing, gnawing feeling some sort of feeling towards Kyo that wasn't hate? It hurt. Badly.

'Yuki, dearest beloved, you're losing yourself and soon, that feeling, you won't be able to tell.' A quiet child like voice sang quietly and softly in his throbbing mind. 'Put the knife down Yuki, put it on down.'

The singing was droned out by a louder, dominating voice. The master, in all her splendor, in all awe. 'A, B, C, D, LSD gummy bears are chasing me. One is pink, one is blue, one just stole my fucking shoe. Now you know I'm on LSD, next time won't you trip with me?'

He repeated the words like a puppet, lips forming nonsense, seductive words, and lies like poison. LSD? It was merely a silly cousin, not quite as attractive, to his beloved heroin. 'Yuki, sing a song for me, and through the pouring rain you'll see orange angels aren't what they appear to be.

Feeling heavy with an intense weight, his head drooped down under the influence of silent sound; the calm quiet solitude of the outer room was a dramatic contrast to the shrieking loudness in his head. The master screamed, his head pounded. 'Yuki, hold you head and close your eyes; it must be so hard to wake up with that mirror every day.'

With every last energy he held, his body bent doubled and fell on hands and knees, the master had his undivided attention; the child voice was pushed away, thrown from his mind's cliff by his own beloved heroin. 'Destroy him Yuki; kill him like the lying pussy he is. Rape his conscious mind then do him in, throw him a knife and be sure to aim it for his heart. Is that clear?'

Knife between his sparkling white teeth, he crawled to Kyo-kun, that look of murder in his eyes. "Crystal clear, I see the rose is frail. Its thorns hidden easily by its beauty. Let me be captivated by your beauty, your thorns caress my flesh. Just wither away, that's what I'd do, just wither away, if I didn't have you."

His fingers pulled the blade from his mouth, grinned and took a lunge towards Kyo's nude body. The force of Yuki's weight and the sharp pain of the blade slicing his cheek, pulled Kyo from his slumber. "Ah!" He shrieked, tossing the smaller young man over the couch. "Yuki! What's wrong? What are you doing?" He demanded, touching his cheek and glaring at the blood on his fingers.

"Kyo…" The glare in his eyes wasn't that of Yuki, it was a wicked hypnotized stare. "I want you to feel the way I do. There is barbed wire wrapped all the way around my head, and my skin grates on my flesh from the inside."

"Yuki…..don't talk like this." His mouth dropped open, fear plagued his eyes but not for himself, for Yuki, for whatever was hurting Yuki. "It's the drugs. It's the drugs Yuki!"

"Don't you dare bad mouth my beloved!" Yuki snarled, his beautiful features became nothing short of feral. With a low growl, Yuki was on the tips of his feet and running towards Kyo. A sharp intake of air, a cringing pain and, in a second's time, Kyo held Yuki's blade in his hand, blood dripping down onto the light carpet, staining it a crude red color. Reflexes of his cat-like instinct, Kyo grabbed Yuki's other fist, twisting it to limit its movement and his grip tightened on the blade. It sank deep in his flesh, streams of blood flowed down his wrist but he also prevented that hand from moving as well. Angry pants escaped Yuki as he attempted to pull away; Kyo clenched his teeth and it only took him a second to decide what needed to be done. Still struggling to pull away, Yuki was interested in nothing more than pulling away and trying to kill once again; unlike Yuki, Kyo took a gulp of air and kicked Yuki in the gut with his knee. The two fell to the floor, Yuki groaning with Kyo on top of him, pinning him down and wincing in pain. Blood smeared across Yuki's glinting skin, mixing with sweat. Their breaths were slowing down as the silver prince fell into unconsciousness.

For awhile, all Kyo could do was watch him, filled with regret and heartache. Feelings of fondness and love invaded him and he whispered. "You're just pushing through a lonely, empty existence with battered fists. Your mind is doing what your heart can't, cutting everyone out. Logically, they aren't fitting inside the shape of your cookie cutter but that is the shape of this drug." Tears consumed his eyes, obscuring them from all reasonable thoughts. "When did the future switch from a promise to a threat?"

Moonlight danced across Yuki's naked body as his chest rose lightly as he took in fallen angel breaths; Kyo pulled himself from the ground and, laying a blanket across the unconscious nymph, he picked up the phone.

Once he finished punching in the numbers, the phone rang and a calm voice answered. "Hello?"

"Hatori, it's Kyo and this is urgent. Yuki is going insane. He's drug-addicted. He tried to kill me." His voice was quiet, whispering frantically. "Please, help him or help me to help him."

"Kyo….." Hatori's voice was puzzling, as if he were confused by the request.

"Hatori, please, just do this…..for me." Kyo hesitated, a feeling of aching in his chest. "I….I love him. Please Hatori."

"Alright, I'll be over Kyo. He may be a danger to himself as well." The phone clicked and Kyo stared down at the sleeping boy, for once, he looked peaceful. Peace was made to be disturbed though as all things were.

Yuki's eyes slip open, he looked so tired as Kyo lifted him up and carried him to the bedroom. "Kyo…." He whispered, wrapped his arms around the cat and snuggling closer. "Kyo-kun….I am the bitch, how do you want me? From behind or on my knees?" Fantasia mimicking eyes stared up at Kyo, then closed as he fell back into unconsciousness; a calm and peaceful sleep of no drugs and not being used for a quick fuck.


	9. So long

**Cut my Life into Pieces**

**Chapter 9:**

**So long…**

**Author's note:** So, it's taken longer than I thought to write but it will be done by Valentine's Day. As planned. 8 Chapters to go, I know that much. I have the rest of the story planned out. I know what's going to happen at least. To loyal fans, thanks for the love and I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this new chapter up. I re-wrote the last chapter. I think it's better. So, let me know what you think, read and review I mean. And without further adieu, here is chapter 9.

"I call it love, you call it a disease….you're the fucking disease!" Bitter, bitter and angry, how did someone so beautiful become such a tragedy? He couldn't help wondering as the silver prince let out a stream of curses, shrieking like a banshee. "You're a fucking disease! Go rot and die! Damn!"

Sipping his coffee, he watched Yuki struggling against his restraints that held his body pinned to the bed. "Give up. You're getting help. One way or another. I'm sorry Yuki." He flipped through the newspaper, waiting for the knock to signal Hatori's arrival. "You can't go on living like this Yuki. It's killing you."

"You fucking bastard! She wants you dead! You'll take me away from her and she loves me!" Yuki flipped and flopped around, twisting his body in odd angles, spitting and growling like a cat.

"No she doesn't." Kyo take his eyes off the paper as he turned to the next paper. "She isn't a living thing, she is a drug."

"Agh! " Yuki screamed, straining against his bondage, throwing his body up as hard as he could, a captured animal. Contusions and lacerations stitched his body together, painting and plastering him like a picture of perfect self-beating. Unable to take the sounds of torture, he left the room, leaving Yuki alone in his own self-ruin.

In the kitchen, Kyo grabbed a bagel and spread cream cheese on it in a futile attempt to sooth his clenching stomach. After about three bites, he heard soft sobs coming from the bedroom and wandered back in. Yuki had given up his struggle and lay crying with his head to the side, buried in the pillows.

"Yuki?" Bare feet padding softly on the ground, Kyo walked slowly to the bed and sat down. Fingers gently brushed the silver haired boy's hair out of his eyes. "It's ok Yuki. Just let it out."

"Kyo-kun, I wish I could play with the little light specks at the bottom of the 8 ft. deep end of the pool and forget to breathe." Tears dripped from his face and soaked the pillow beneath him. He wanted to die, to pass away like another day, unnoticed by society as a whole. It killed Kyo inside, that Yuki had to feel this way, had to feel such a pain that was almost to the point where Yuki could no longer stand to live. "And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad that the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."

"Yuki, lets soar on wings of pain and create a life worth living, together. We can do it together. Broken wings will fly." He curled on the bed and wrapped his arms around the sad addict, the depressed prince. "Drowning is easy, breathing is the hard part."

"Kyo…I'm kind of afraid to be happy." His eyes were dazed with sadness. "Please help me. I'm wishing on emptiness…I scare myself, make it go away. I'm constantly telling myself bitter past, silent screams, deadly voices taunting me….just take the drugs Yuki, take them and it will be ok, so use to saying show them all you got, fake it all."

"You will be happy Yuki, I assure you, I'll see to it that you will be freed from this pain." Kyo smiled and started to continue. "I lo…" A sharp knock at the door cut him off. "It's Hatori. I'll be back."

Moments later, Kyo returned with Hatori, who removed a needle from behind his back. "It's time to go Yuki." This set Yuki off, bringing about fears of abandonment, fears of what would come.

"No!" He shrieked, thrusting himself against the restraints once again to get away. "Kyo! Help me! Please!" Within seconds of being pierced with the needle, Yuki was out of it.

"He will be ok Kyo. I promise." Hatori nodded. Kyo could only watch as he took Yuki's unconscious body and loaded it in his car. That was it. The last day of happiness.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Letter of apology:

Dear readers,

As many of you have most likely noticed, I haven't updated my stories in a very long time. I have every intention of finishing my stories and go on to write more. However, as I have spent the past three years in college, I haven't found time to really get back into writing fanfiction. I've been writing my own works, which I might put up on fictionpress if any of you are interested in reading those. I'm about to take the LSATs, so I'm a little more than stressed right now. I do, however, promise that a new chapter will be up by the end of this month. I have to find the notes that I wrote out for my stories so that might take some time but I will wager that a new chapter will be up by Jan. 18th. So, I beg your indulgence and hope you continue to enjoy my stories in their future chapters.

Best wishes,

Alice Rose


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